The Silent Killer

I got to hear the end of a conversation today where the running joke was that ambition will kill you in the workplace. You'll end up doing more work and staying busier if you have it because you want to excel.

This ties in with something that I've been rolling around in my mind for a while here. One problem I have with some coworker interactions is that I forget that not everyone thinks like I do. In fact, most people don't think like I do. I think it's safe to say that our first instinct in any human interaction is to assume that the person with whom you speak comes from the same basic frame of mind. Of course, that often isn't true.

Specifically, I don't really get into playing the political game. I'm not one to jump when told that a Senior VP needs something right now just because it's a Senior VP asking for it. I try to take care of all of our "customers" the same. Suggesting that I should jump higher for a senior person is sort of insulting.

I got into trouble a while back because I was kind of confrontational in a meeting regarding something that I thought was silly. A teammate called me on it and I apologized because he was certainly right. But I also explained that I don't have an agenda and that I don't really have any large aspirations. I don't see how I would advance much here and, given the environment, I'm not sure that I'd want to. Therefore, I don't get into these games. I got a 2.2% raise last year. Will working really hard get me 4%? I think that's on the wrong side of the cost-benefits analysis.

I have enough trouble just doing my job well and with a good attitude to get into all the games people play in the corporate world. I have plenty of ambition in my life, but not for success in the corporate world. On the other hand, I do stay very motivated when it comes to the things that I consider very important such as my ministry and my family.

I guess this means that I walk a fine line. It's very easy to turn into a genuine slacker, which happens to me more often than it should. It's also very easy to get caught up in the game. My goal is to stay balanced on this knife's edge.

Focusing on the Main Things

I got this yesterday from my daily Insight for Leaders:


Pastoral Ministry: Some New Mystery Bagged

For all the Athenians and the foreigners who were there spent their
time in nothing else but either to tell or to hear some new thing.
--Acts 17:21

The temptation to forget the few spiritual essentials and to go
wandering off after unimportant things is very strong, especially
to Christians of a certain curious type of mind. Such persons find
the great majors of the faith of our fathers altogether too tame
for them. Their souls loathe that light bread; their appetites
crave the gamy tang of fresh-killed meat. They take great pride in
their reputation as being mighty hunters before the Lord, and any
time we look out we may see them returning from the chase with some
new mystery hanging limply over their shoulder.

Usually the game they bring down is something on which there is a
biblical closed season. Some vague hint in the Scriptures, some
obscure verse about which the translators disagree, some marginal
note for which there is not much scholarly authority: these are
their favorite meat. They are especially skillful at propounding
notions which have never been a part of the Christian heritage of
truth. Their enthusiasm mounts with the uncertainty of their
position, and their dogmatism grows firmer in proportion to the
mystery which surrounds their subject. The Next Chapter After the
Last, 12-13.

I think of this fairly often as I lead our small group. It's so much easier to chase "deeper truth" than it is to deal with what we already know. Of course, I'm all for learning more about God's Word. It's the only firm foundation for life and the more I know of it the better off I'll be. However, I do believe that the main things are the plain things and the plain things are the main things. So while it can be fascinating to wonder about the seventy weeks in Daniel or the meanings of the wheels on the creatures in Ezekiel, this seems very plain to me:


Mat 22:33-40 ESV
(33) And when the crowd heard it, they were astonished at his teaching.
(34) But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together.
(35) And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him.
(36) "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?"
(37) And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.
(38) This is the great and first commandment.
(39) And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
(40) On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."


I still could use a lot of work on both of these.

Who is Wiser?

A couple of months ago we potty trained Lily. We've had our ups and downs, but it has gone pretty well. I think this is one of those many parenting experiences where it seems brutal at the time, but looking back you manage to forget just how grueling it was. She still has the occasional accident though.

We try to be understanding about all of this. But what we have a tough time with is when we know that she has to go, we offer to help her go, she refuses, and then has an accident later. Like most little kids, she will often push this until the last minute. Then it becomes a crisis with Amanda and I running around frantically trying to get her potty seat out of the bag or maybe me running her upstairs so she can use her "permanent" potty seat. I usually end up making some comment about how she can't wait until the last minute.

At work I tend to drink a lot of water. It gives me something to do and it keeps me awake. Plus on days when I exercise I really need to re-hydrate in the morning. Of course, this means many trips to the bathroom, which is also good for breaking up the day.

Twice now I've tried to use the closest bathroom only to discover it being closed for cleaning. I then had to walk down the hall to another one. It only takes maybe 60-90 seconds to make it to that bathroom, but both times I had to do this I realized that I waited too long. In other words, despite being 30 years older than her I'm not sure that I'm that much wiser. Kind of a sobering thought.

Feeling Locked In

I've written several articles about a sense of ennui I have in life. I sometimes get a sense that there is more that I could be or should be doing. Or maybe I should be doing something else. That feels particularly strong with work, but it applies to ministry as well. Our church is a big, vibrant place. There is a lot going on and sometimes I wonder if I should be more involved there.

Recently I got a note from the head of Setting Captives Free thanking me for the job I'm doing as the Executive Director of The Lord's Table. It's always nice to get a pat on the back and be told that you're doing a good job. But what it really reinforces is my firm belief that I'm in the right place and doing the right thing for me right now. I do want to hang onto it with a loose grip because I never know where God may lead me. But it does give me a nice reassuring feeling that I'm doing the right thing. You can't really put a price tag on that!

Where Were You?

I am thoroughly enjoying the Todd Agnew album Reflection of Something. One song is taken from the book of Job and it's called "Where Were You". Listening to this song has made me reflect on who I am compared to God. Basically, I'm pretty small. I think of the infinite perspective vortex in Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy where people couldn't handle being put in it because they saw how big they were next to the rest of the universe.

The song starts with what we consider to be fair questions. What about injustice? What about when evil people seem to prosper? Here I am doing my best. Why isn't life more fair?

The repeated chorus comes out of Job 38-41 where God asks Job some great questions. Here a couple of my favorites (from the Bible, not from the song):

Job 38:4-7
4"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
5Who determined its measurements--surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
6On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
7when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Job 38:31-33
31"Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades
or loose the cords of Orion?
32Can you lead forth the Mazzaroth[b] in their season,
or can you guide the Bear with its children?
33Do you know the ordinances of the heavens?
Can you establish their rule on the earth?

And after God lays into him this is all Job can say:

Job 40:3-5
3Then Job answered the LORD and said:


4"Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
5I have spoken once, and I will not answer;
twice, but I will proceed no further."

In other words, Job realizes that he's way out of turn here. How else do you respond when God grabs whole constellations in His hand, shows the stars to you, and asks if you can do that?

The book of Job is easily misunderstood, I think. To someone who is not a believer it looks like nothing more than a bar bet between God and Satan. But I take it as an example of how to persevere in trials. I also see it as a tremendous reminder of how great God really is and how I'm tinier than an electron compared to His greatness. But what ties it altogether for me is that, despite my insignifcance and His grandeur, He loves me and calls me His son. I know I sure don't deserve that.