Calling in a Favor

Philemon 1:20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

20 ναὶ ἀδελφέ, ἐγώ σου ὀναίμην ἐν κυρίῳ· ἀνάπαυσόν μου τὰ σπλάγχνα ἐν Χριστῷ.

It's hard to pick something to write about in this short letter.  Paul is writing to his friend Philemon about the escaped slave Onesimus.  Apparently Onesimus was Philemon's slave, ran away, met Paul, and then was saved by Christ.  Paul is making Onesimus do the honorable thing by returning to his master, but he is sending him with this note that appeals to Philemon to set Onesimus free.  Paul starts his argument on the basis of the fact that Philemon and Onesimus are now brothers in Christ, but Paul turns the screws a bit as the letter proceeds.  He basically says that he could command Philemon to do this since Philemon owes Paul his very life.  Plus, Paul is an apostle after all.

I'm not sure that this was necessarily Paul's intention, but what strikes me about this letter is how loathe we are to ask each other for anything.  As Christians we are quick to help someone out.  We help a brother move his house if we can.  We give people rides.  We give money and food to folks in need.  We serve at church.  We do all manner of things to help out.  After all, that's what Christians do.  You can't miss that if you read much of the New Testament.

But are we so quick to ask for help?  Not necessarily in a quid pro quo kind of way, but just in general?  We should not be bashful about asking others to help us.  Yet we don't.  Why is that?

I think it's pretty clear for me that pride gets in my way.  America is (or perhaps was) a great nation because of its can-do attitude.  If there is an obstacle we will either overcome it or outflank it.  We are used to being self-sufficient and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps to do what needs to be done.

Yet that is not the way it should be.  We should confidently ask others for help.  It blesses them by being able to help us.  And of course we should be ready to help others.  We don't necessarily need to get to the place where Paul is effectively "pulling rank" on Philemon.  We just need to humble ourselves by asking.

Am I the only one who struggles with this?  How about you?