Deliverance

Psalms 34:19-22 ESV
(19) Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
(20) He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.
(21) Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
(22) The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

If all we had was verse 19 then I might be tempted to buy into the prosperity gospel. However, as this passage continues I see that it does not mean quite what some would have us think this means. Yes, the Lord will deliver His people from their afflictions, which will be many. How will He do it though? Will He deliver us here and now?

He might, but that is not what this passage tells me. Verses 21 and 22 tell me that this has an eternal perspective. Our hope is not for deliverance in the here and now, but in the future. We don't have to worry about our ultimate destination because of the assurance this passage gives us.

As I learned this past weekend, some temporary discomfort is not that difficult to bear if we can see a future payoff. I think the Christian life is all about the future payoff.

Wearing Thin

I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I'm squeezing too much into my schedule. I feel incredible stress with Amanda's birthday, my shutter-painting project, the class I need to finish, the class I'm starting, family obligations, and work. I'm starting to wonder if reviewing Greek flash cards every day is really necessary. Is it also necessary for me to spend time every day in the Greek New Testament?

I think it is these dry times that show me what I'm made of. Am I going to let my feelings dictate my actions or am I going to follow-through on my commitments? I intend to follow-through.

When Calvinism Fails

As I wrote last night's post I thought that in the spirit of irenic blogging I should write one about the problems with Calvinism. I am thoroughly convinced of the truth of God's sovereignty in election, but I also see some negative side-effects from it.

One of the mentors in my group pointed out that many Calvinists tend to be mean men. I couldn't argue with that at all. I think that we tend to be more interested in doctrine than in Christian living. I think that we tend to take the security of the believer to a wrong extreme. We need to instead focus on the fact that works follow genuine salvation.

I also realize that there are tensions in Calvinism. However, I think that they are more reconcilable than those in Arminianism. Thoughts?

Tired

As you know, I've started doing some journaling when I do my morning devotions. Many mornings I have some great ideas for a blog entry, but they don't stick around for when I actually have the time to write. I may have to do some shuffling in the morning or at least take the time to write down some good notes for later. It feels like I'm always up against the wall for having to go out running.

Today has been a lot of activity with church, a picnic, getting a car inspected and lubricated, and making granola and fudge. The good news is that we're more ready for the beach trip. The bad news is that I'm very tired.

More good news is that I have been keeping up on my Greek NT reading, though I've been cheating a little bit. I've been reading 1 John, which we did at the end of my first year. The language is pretty simple, but it's still good review. Got to keep at it!

Feeling Dry

I've been doing a pretty good job of updating the family blog, but I realize that I've been kind of slack here. What's the problem? I'm feeling a bit dry.

I'm starting to feel a bit burnt-out with Setting Captives Free. I think it's just a matter of the time taking its toll. I seem to go through this near the last third of each semester, so I think it's just a cyclical thing. However, it's not a lot of fun. I want so much to revel in what Christ is doing in people's lives. To do any less is really to cheapen God's grace.

School is going well. We're off this week because my professor is in San Diego for a couple of conferences. We're off next week for Thanksgiving. It was hard, but I did manage to get through my Greek translation today. Normally I do this on Sunday or Monday and then review every day up until class, but I just couldn't get it going. Amanda called me one of the most disciplined students she knows, but stuff like this is hard for me.

Meanwhile, I've got my one page paper on Ruth only half-written. I need to get done with that so I can move on.

I think that it would be good for me just to relax a bit tonight. I haven't done much of that lately.

A Blast from the Past

We had a little conversation at work the other day regarding calculators. To the right you can see a photo of my baby. I didn't always use one of these. No, I cut my teeth on a Radio Shack scientific calculator that actually folded into a convenient pocket size. In fact, the doctor who first diagnoses autism in Rain Man used one as he was trying to stump Ray with tough math problems. Then I graduated to a Casio (I think FX-80) that I got from someone. I sold that and then acquired the FX-81 from my girlfriend in college. Finally, I upgraded to the HP.

The HP was not easy to use at first. The Reverse Polish notation was kind of tricky; however, as the linked article states once you get used to it you don't want to go back. I had a hard time ever using my friend's TI-85 after I got used to my calcuator.

I pulled it out of its case today, which was no small feat because the zipper is not in good shape. I think it may be corroding a bit here in my damp basement. At least I had the good sense not to have batteries in it since I had to scrape away a lot of corrosion the first time I used it post-college. I did my normal 1 1 + calculation and played with a few exponents. Then I put it away.

I realize that I likely won't ever have a use for this again. Maybe I can leave it to Noah or Lily. Then again, they might get beat up for having such a relic. Their professors may remember though.

The Great Difference

As I mentioned previously, I enjoyed lunch with a friend yesterday. We were talking about getting older. He and I are almost symmetrically far from 30, me on one side and him on the other. He asked me if 30 made me feel any different and I had to say that it didn't. I feel like I did a lot of maturing when I dealt with sexual sin in my life. Having a baby at 29 also helped me to grow up a little bit. I'm in better shape now than when I was 23, so I don't have that either.

What I do have now is ear hair. Ear grows out of the little flap covering my right ear canal. A little bit grows around my ear, but it's mostly there and it's mostly on the right side. In fact sometimes I stroke it thoughtfully when it gets long. This totally disgusts Amanda.

If that's all that happens as I age I'm cool with that.

More Tozer

I got this one today and I think that it speaks volumes about where things are in the church today:

Revival: Don't Substitute Praying for Obeying

So Samuel said: "Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and
sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is
better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams."
--1 Samuel 15:22

Have you noticed how much praying for revival has been going on of
late-and how little revival has resulted?

Considering the volume of prayer that is ascending these days, rivers
of revival should be flowing in  blessing throughout the land. That
no such results are in evidence should not discourage us; rather it
should stir us to find out why our prayers are not answered....

I believe our problem is that we have been trying to substitute
praying for obeying; and it simply will not work....

Prayer is never an acceptable substitute for obedience. The sovereign
Lord accepts no offering from His creatures that is not accompanied
by obedience. To pray for revival while ignoring or actually flouting
the plain precept laid down in the Scriptures is to waste a lot of
words and get nothing for our trouble.  Of God and Men, 55-57.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; show me any wicked way that
needs to be corrected in my own life before revival can come. I'm
praying for revival; help me to also be obeying. Amen."

I think about some of the blogs I read that are very strong on orthodoxy, but I wonder how much practice there is? I recall all the "amens" about John MacArthur's stance on using the Word of God to relieve stress and the scoffing at Doug Pagitt's scoffing. But how many of those people are going to pornography to relieve stress? Or maybe even more telling, how many are going to food to relieve stress?

I certainly don't think I have the market cornered on personal holiness. I've been down that road and have realized the futility of it. I have my stumbles that remind me of the battle that wages in me. However, I also know that despite all my counseling, teaching, and learning I do not rely on the Word of God as much as I'd like. I certainly preach better than I live.

In other words, I think that a lot of us in the Reformed blogosphere talk a good talk and make sure that none of our Reformed brethren would accuse us of heresy, but are we walking the walk?

1Co 4:19-20 ESV
(19) But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I will find out not the talk of these arrogant people but their power.
(20) For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.

Avoiding the Highway

I remember how tentative I was when I first started driving. This stuck with me pretty much until we moved to California. I found that driving around San Francisco forced me to learn how to handle traffic and now I am pretty much nonplussed when I am in traffic. Now that I live near Raleigh I hear how locals bemoan the heavy traffic we have and I just chuckle a little bit. Yes, it gets heavy in the afternoons near RTP, but it's nothing like the snarl that is the highway system around a city like San Francisco.

However, I had some experiences on Wednesday and Thursday that are starting to make me a little more tentative about the highway. I was exhausted Wednesday morning and just driving along in a near trance. I was thinking about how glad I was that my morning commute is so easy and uneventful. A few minutes later I noticed a truck starting to get closer to me and it seemed like it was going to come into my lane. I don't mind getting cut off so much, but I don't like it when someone tries to share space with me. I hit the brakes and actually used the horn. I almost never use the horn, but it seemed appropriate this time. That gave me a little jolt of adrenaline that helped me stay awake :)

That afternoon I was on the highway for only a few minutes when I noticed a disc of some sort coming at me. It was the top of some kind of Rubbermaid container and it hit the windshield right in front of my face. I closed my eyes as it hit. I'm not sure why I didn't turn away or duck as I still would have been cut up if it broke the windshield, but fortunately nothing happened.

Then yesterday morning I as I drove to work I noticed traffic in front of me slowing down. I also noticed a cloud of small red and blue things on the road. Turns out that a truck carrying garbage bags full of aluminum cans lost one of the bags out the back. I had to slow down to go through them, but I don't think that my car was damaged at all.

I guess I should just be thankful that none of these events was more serious. It was just strange to have so many things happen to me on what is otherwise a normally uneventful commute. Then again, the day that someone crosses the yellow line and hits someone head-on is no different, is it? These things happen and it is only by God's grace that I get to keep drawing breath.

Still Alive

Has it really been more than 2 weeks since my last post? It really goes to show how my life has been lately. Since my last post I:

• Got my 1 Corinthians 5:5 paper written
• Have learned about Greek participles
• Painted Lily's bed
• Become more involved in work (in a good way)
• Had to dismiss a mentor from one of my groups (never fun)

That's just off the top of my head. I've had some ideas for blogging, but I just haven't taken the time to write them out. I guess I should take a few minutes some evening to close the books, leave the PS2 off (been loving Lego Star Wars) and do some online journaling.

Uncle Bill and Aunt Tiff are going to have Lily for Friday and Saturday nights. Amanda and I have dinner reservations for Friday. I think I'll be able to get some research done for my next paper on Saturday. It will be weird to be empty nesters for a couple of nights, but I think that we'll survive for that long :)

Getting Established

2 Chronicles 12:1 ESV
(1) When the rule of Rehoboam was established and he was strong, he abandoned the law of the LORD, and all Israel with him.

I read this today and it hit me right between the eyes. Lately I feel my heart wandering away from the sure foundation of Christ. I've found myself sorely tempted by the internet. I've found myself nibbling on more food than usual. I know that much of this is because of the stress of Amanda being brought down by this pregnancy. I can't imagine how I would do if she were on bed rest!

Yesterday I felt my heart shift. I feel a much deeper peace now than I have in a long time. I've had this come and go before, so I want to make sure that this lasts. I just know that if I keep trying to do so much on my own strength I am bound to fall back into sin. God has shown me glimpses of it all year. In fact, I would say that 2006 was my worst year for purity since I came to Setting Captives Free. I suspect that starting seminary has much to do with it. I also think that overextending myself has something to do with it as well.

As I look at my schedule for today, I see the following things that need to get done:

1. Do my review of Philippians since I memorized it
2. Review my memorization of James, Ephesians, and both Peters
3. Review my Greek vocabulary
4. Do the weekly bank download into MS Money
5. Read at least 150 pages of a book in preparation for my class that starts Wednesday
   

I realize that these things are not that big of a deal, but they add up. More and more I see the need for some whitespace. I wonder if my lack of it is part of the problem I have in my life.

I'm not a big one for New Year's Resolutions, but December 31 certainly is a natural time for introspection. What I see is a need for a little more space in my life. Ironic that I come to this realization just before embarking on an incredibly busy time with this upcoming class. If seminary is something I should do (I think it is) then it is also something that I need to make space for. I'm not sure what will give, but it's something that I think requires some prayer. I'd appreciate any petitions you can bring before God for me.

Contradictions

I apologize for not blogging more lately. I've been quite busy with school, ministry, family, and work. I've got a bunch of things to write about, but this is something that's been on my mind lately:

We want holiness, but we don't want to give anything up.

We want to lose weight, but we don't want to eat less or exercise more.

We want purity, but we don't want to change what we watch or how we look at women.

We want to have more money, but we don't want to save more and spend less.

We want to spend more time with our families, but we don't want to give up our hobbies or time spent at work.

We want to be good parents, but we don't want to be lesser employees as a result.

We want to be good witnesses for the gospel, but we don't want to take the time to serve and connect with others.

Just about all of these have described me or currently describe me. It goes with being human, I guess. I keep looking in Scripture for the promise that life will be easy. I know that the yoke is easy and the burden is light, but it's still a hard row to hoe.