Feeling Small

My apologetics class is going well. I've chatted up the professor a couple of times. He seems sincere and extremely knowledgable. I really appreciate his passion for this very important topic. I feel excited to go and start having discussions with unbelievers, which I think is part of the point of the class.

Being in the room with all these godly men and women with so much knowledge really humbles me. I don't feel like I know the Bible well enough. When I was asked to pray at the start of class yesterday I don't feel like I'm eloquent enough. As I enroll in my fall classes I wonder how I'm going to write a 12-14 page paper on some topic for my Systematic Theology course. I wonder how I'm going to know Greek well enough for a test.

I think a couple of things are happening. One is that this is going from being a hobby to something that I am spending $450/class to get tested on. This means that I have more reason to take it seriously. Of course, we should want to know more about God's Word just for the sake of knowing it. But this adds an extra element to it.

Another thing is that I think I am getting that smaller fish in a big pond feeling I got when I went to Ohio State. This is a good thing for me, I think. I remember thinking I was pretty smart when I left high school. Then I started meeting some of the men and women in my major and realized that, although I'm fairly bright, I'm not nearly as bright as many.

This is one of those side benefits of higher education that I think God knows is going to happen, but I didn't sign up for. I'm trying to keep looking at this in a good light :)