Recovering the Passion

My seminary had its fall convocation on Thursday. One of my professors brought us a great challenge from Jeremiah 9:23-24. The point was that as seminary students we know a lot about God, but how much do we really know God? This was a great challenge for me and one that I needed to hear.

I've had a persistent gnawing at my soul that I need to feast more richly in Christ. As I've gone through the Psalms as part of my Bible in a year plan I have grown to appreciate them more and more. Of course, as someone who is not always delighting in the Lord they are a challenge for me. This whole thing has got me looking back a little bit at my initial days of freedom.

I remember when we first moved out to North Carolina. I was in my first year of freedom from sexual sin and I was starting to find freedom from gluttony and laziness. The idea of going anywhere near inappropriate images was completely foreign to me. I was on fire for the Lord and, frankly, was kind of obnoxious. I was in the "cage-stage" as a Calvinist. However, I was pretty happy about it.

I think in the past year or so I've definitely become more gracious in how I deal with others, which I think is a good thing. However, I think that this has come at a cost of some of my passion. I think that in my desire to be less of a jerk I have reined in too much of my passion. I feel some stuff sort of melting around my heart as I try to let some of this go.

I'm not sure how this will all shake out. I don't want to be as obnoxious as I once was since I think I was pretty insufferable at times. However, I also don't want to become emasculated as a Christian just so I can be easier to stand. I'll be interested to see how this all plays out.