Strange Change

So I'm beginning to believe that I really can do this MDiv thing. Amanda is very supportive. I think I can hang at the Bank long enough to finish the degree. My hours are generally pretty stable and I think I can do it without having it get in the way of my studies. Life will be tough for a long time, but I think I can do it.

As I researched this I exchanged some emails with people at my church who have gone to seminary and made their careers in ministry. They told me that accreditation is important, but I trust Shepherd's when they tell me that they are pursuing it and should get it soon. So I feel like that will be covered.

But it felt a little strange to be near these guys today at church. I guess one thing I've longed for is a sense of legitimacy with anything I do. I really respect these guys and I automatically think that they're thinking, "Who do you think you are to handle the Word of God? What makes you think that you can care for the souls of a congregation?" I don't believe that they really think this. It's really just lies of the enemy trying to unseat my confidence.

I do have faith that God will take care of things if this is what He called me to do. And I also have faith that solid expository preaching will suffice. I don't have to tickle anyone's ears to build up a congregation. But I do need faith that God will take care of things if this is what I'm called to do.

The "good" news is that it will still be at least 6 years before I finish anything. I have time to see what happens and what doors open in the meantime. I do know that I want to know more about God's Word and spending time and money in seminary will never be a total waste of time.