One of My Fears

I don't have too many fears in life. I suppose I get anxious about how I'm going to feed my family when I change careers. I think about how we're going to save money for Noah's college (Lily is OK) or how we will buy a new vehicle when the time comes. However, these are all temporal things and I think that God will take care of us to meet our needs.

No, my fear has a much longer scope:
Luk 13:22-30 ESV2
(22) He went on his way through towns and villages, teaching and journeying toward Jerusalem.
(23) And someone said to him, "Lord, will those who are saved be few?" And he said to them,
(24) "Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able.
(25) When once the master of the house has risen and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, 'Lord, open to us,' then he will answer you, 'I do not know where you come from.'
(26) Then you will begin to say, 'We ate and drank in your presence, and you taught in our streets.'
(27) But he will say, 'I tell you, I do not know where you come from. Depart from me, all you workers of evil!'
(28) In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God but you yourselves cast out.
(29) And people will come from east and west, and from north and south, and recline at table in the kingdom of God.
(30) And behold, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last."

I think about where my heart is. I want to get closer to God. However, I also know how fickle it is. I see how easily I am distracted when I work from home. Sometimes I surf good stuff and other times not so good. I don't feel like I fall back into porn, but I do know that I walk the line. This is not good.

The reason it scares me is that it shows me that my heart is not fully given over to Jesus. There are parts of my flesh that war. I suppose I'll write on this more when I get to Romans 7. I don't want to let the accusations of the enemy get me down though. I don't really think that I will be shut out of heaven. Yet there are always some doubts...